Guest Blog by a Disgruntled Clown

Come on, now. Why would anyone think I'm evil?

I’ve been getting a lot of work lately, and that’s great. Lots of birthday parties and even some retirement parties and stuff. And I hate to complain, but these people don’t seem to understand what a clown is supposed to do. 

I show up to do my balloon animals or to do some fun magic tricks, but all people can talk about is me taking their souls.

“Take mine!”

“No, take mine!”

“I want to voyage into the hoary netherworld!”

How many times do I have to tell these people that just because I am dressed up like a clown, it doesn’t mean that I am evil?

I mean, sure, most of us clowns are. But not all of us. Some of us genuinely want to entertain, and not in a goat-sacrificy way.

Just because I am a stranger to you, and you can’t see my face because I intentionally cover it up, and there is a long history of evil clowns not only in movies and television shows but also at least one horrifying case in real life of a psycho who dressed up as a clown to try to cover up how evil he was (although there were probably other deep psychological reasons for why he would dress up as he did) – why would you just assume that I am evil?

So, anyway, as a result of the confusion, I am suggesting to my fellow clowns that maybe we should all start clarifying where we stand on this entertaining-versus-evil thing. Just so clients know and can get their money’s worth, maybe we should start asking, right up front: do you want jokes and balloon animals, or do you want a clown who will drag you into the depths of hell? (Or both?)