Guest Blog by an IRS Agent

No, you can't claim your iguana as a dependent. But that was a great idea!

I was worried about you all weekend. Really, I couldn't think of anything else. I was thinking about your tax return, and I really think we could do more for you.

First of all, you forgot to carry the two here, you silly nut! That’s OK. Everyone makes mistakes, and the IRS totally understands that. 

Are you sure you can’t deduct something more? Let’s take a look, here. We need to make sure you are getting every penny that is owed to you. 

Did you travel for work? Did you use your own personal car to travel? Did you, by chance, have a kid? If you did I’m sure it’s adorable! I would love to see pictures and hear all about that. And, that sweet little bundle not only means years of love and joy, he or she also means a bigger refund, for years to come! Did you have any health problems? I certainly hope not, but if you did it could benefit your taxes. Make sure you let me know if you need a ride to the doctor or anything. 

I see here that you didn’t submit form 3309. Oopsies! Let me fill out the major parts of that for you, and then you can look it over and sign it. Let me tell you, you won’t be able to fill it out yourself! There’s no way you could understand it, really. And that’s not saying anything about you – we sure don’t make these things easy at all. The dirty little secret is that you should have an accounting degree to even look at these forms. But we expect you to do it and to do it perfectly! We really are setting you up for failure. It’s pretty unfair, really. I’ll just fill it out for you and explain what it all means as I go – it won’t take but a minute, and I don't mind at all. 

I am so happy to have the chance to help you. After all, I’m a government employee and I work for you!