Movie Madness: Robert (2015)

December 8, 2023 admin

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(Available on Tubi)

Why would anyone keep this doll in their house?

The movie starts with a couple who is being tortured in their own home by a ghost or some such. An older lady comes in and says, “It’s not the house—it’s that doll!!!”

Cut to that older lady working as a maid for another couple. The maid has forgotten where the dustpan is, or something, and the lady of the house (Jen) is like, “You’re fired!” Seems a little extreme, but OK. Before the maid goes, she gives the little boy the same doll from the beginning (not sure why she has it, and it is never explained, at least not that I saw). It is creepy and horrible looking and should probably see someone about that cataract in his eye. The maid also mentions to the lady of the house that she will be sorry for firing her.

Weird stuff starts happening around the house, and we are also treated to some domestic squabbles between the couple, which kind of seem to go on for too long. Jen has apparently had some psychological issues before.

They hire a new, young maid, and the man checks her out lasciviously (you thought I didn’t notice that, didn’t you, buddy??). But fortunately, before he can do anything too stupid like cheat on his wife, the doll pushes the maid down the stairs, and she ends up in the hospital.

Jen is starting to suspect that either she is going crazy or something strange is happening in her house. She can hear her son talking to someone when he is alone in his room; one of the paintings she is working on (which are actually kind of neat) gets all messed up; and then someone (probably the doll, as he is holding her lipstick later when she checks) writes “Die” on her mirror in her own lipstick. Oh, and then a babysitter is murdered.

To be fair, maybe the doll is German and he was writing “the” on the mirror? Maybe he was trying to warn her, like starting to write “The gas is on but the pilot light isn’t lit!” (in German) but then his little doll arms got tired. I guess we’ll never know.

Jen is freaking out, but her husband is no help whatsoever – he’s just all worried that she is insane. She decides to go visit the old-lady maid to see what the deal is with the doll, although at this point maybe she should have just put it in the incinerator or something. The maid-lady is dead, though. A neighbor lets Jen into the maid’s house, which seems a tad wrong, and she snoops around, which somehow leads her back to the couple from the beginning. The wife is still traumatized from the doll, but she seems to know an awful lot about how possessed dolls work.

Jen returns home and the doll is finally dealt with, but (surprise! Oh, wait, not really), this horrible incident isn’t quite over yet!