Guest Blog by God, Just Getting Back From Vacation in 1944
Did you remember to feed my cat?
Hey, Satan, how’s it going? Yeah, I had a great time. After eons of work 6 days a week, there’s nothing like taking a few years off, especially after that big World War I kerfuffle down there. A lot of crap going on for the past few thousand years, that’s for sure. Wow, look at all the mail that piled up! I’ll go through that later. Did my Sears catalogue come?
So what did I miss for the past 30 Earth years or so?
Really? Those crazy kids down there. You never know what they’re gonna do. Prohibition, you say? What a stupid idea. Hemlines went up? Nice.
Wait. Japan did what? They bombed what? Why? Why would they do that? Germany did what??? And you let them?? They are STILL doing it? What? You just stood there and watched this happen? What the hell were you thinking? Why would you do that?
Don’t give me this crap about evil balancing out good. I don’t think that’s gonna cut it this time. You have gone WAY overboard with that crap. So I can’t even take a few decades off? Oh, yeah. I remember now. The last vacation I took, you decided the bubonic plague would be fun to unleash. Geez, how could I forget that? What was I thinking? Next time I’m gonna have to get someone else to watch over things. Next time I’m gonna see if Zeus can help out. Geez.
Oh, yeah, Satan and all. I know. You’re evil. But still. Come on, now.
