My Mom Said I Should Start a Blog

Squirrel or chipmunk?

Please see my award-winning 4th grade essay that my mother won’t shut up about.

Here is my first blog…I hope my mother is happy.

Yep. My mom said I should start a blog. That’s what she said. Right after she asked, for the thirtieth time, “What is that internet thing again? Do we have the internet?” And I tried to explain it to her, like for the thirtieth time, that, yeah, we do have the internet.

Then she said that some lady she works with at the hospital has a daughter with a blog. So I spent about 20 minutes trying to explain what a blog is. Then she said, “You should start a blog,” and went on to talk about what a great writer I am, all because in the 4th grade I won this writing contest thing. She always acts like I threw my whole life away, just because I didn’t pursue a Pulitzer after my famous 4th grade essay, “How Chipmunks and Squirrels Are Different.” Yea. I bet Popular Science would be all over that.

So, I figure, at least if I am down here in the basement and making tapping noises on the computer, maybe she won’t nag me about getting a job anymore. If she asks about blogging or the internet again, I can tell her, yes, I’m blogging, and I’ll make it sound like it’s work (hard work, even!) and she’ll probably just assume I’m getting paid.

Even better, I’m gonna get other people to write blogs, and then I can tell her that I am a “Blog Editor.” That sounds pretty damn impressive, if I do say so myself.

So stay tuned for entries into this, my new blog. I figure it will be years before my mother even comes close to figuring out the internet and can figure out how to read this crap. As long as I make computery noises, she’ll never be the wiser, and I’ll be living rent- and nag-free….